


Candy Hearts

by sadlyflavoured



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Fluff, Kinda Valentine's Day based, M/M, Misunderstandings, The ending's kinda abrupt oops, Zim's real dumb about human interaction here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22728784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadlyflavoured/pseuds/sadlyflavoured
Summary: Dib has some Valentine candy he probably won't eat, so he decides to give them to Zim.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 102





	Candy Hearts

Today, of all days, was the only day Dib Membrane could really push aside the acidic hatred for someone so disgustingly different. It was Valentine’s Day, a day of love and all sorts of floaty feelings; but, just like every Valentine’s Day ever, Dib had no one to share these floaty feelings or even have floaty feelings in the first place. No one in Skool ever dare give him a look other than mockery, he was just some weird kid that had his head in the stars too often, so it made sense no one would willingly be his friend—Let alone a Valentine. It was very lonely, despite his own efforts to tell himself it wasn’t. Dib wished he had a friend to share all his wonderous thoughts and theories with, he wished someone would finally be on his side. 

Which led him to where he was now, walking cluelessly down a rotten sidewalk to a particular house with a peculiar alien glow to it. 

Zim, how the very name tasted like sour milk on his lips. It was disgusting that Dib, saver of Earth and the best conspiracy theorist, was willingly walking to that one damned house. But something was just a little different today. Sure, Zim was trying to destroy the Earth and probably make all humans his weird Alien pets—Or whatever it was that Aliens did when they took over a planet—But Dib found himself sympathizing. Zim was sort in the same position he was in, stuck on a planet where he also had no friends and probably felt lonely, if Aliens could even feel lonely. And more importantly, Dib had a small pack of candy hearts that he knew for certain he wasn’t going to eat so he figured he’d just give them to Zim rather than waste it. 

His plan was to leave the small bag of candies on Zim’s doorstep and then leave. No interaction and no fight, as Dib’s bruised hands hadn’t completely recovered from the last battle. 

As his coat flowed in the slightly chilly air, the teen’s mind began to wonder. He wondered if whatever race Zim was had little candy hearts on their planet or if they had candy at all, he wondered if whatever Zim’s planet was called was cold or not. Although Zim was literally the embodiment of a bad guy, Dib was seriously curious about the little space creature. He wanted to ask all sorts of questions about Space, about planets, everything really. But Zim was too busy taking over the world and Dib was too busy stopping him to really get the chance to stop and ask. 

Gnawing at his chapped bottom lip, Dib’s mind delved deeper. He was certain he knew what Zim’s race was called…But what was it again? 

“Irkens..wasn’t it?” Dib muttered to himself, pushing his oval glasses further up on his nose. “Yeah, had to be Irkens..” 

What a funny name as Zim sure as hell irked the hell out of him. 

Letting out a particularly dramatic sigh, Dib began his way up the neon house that stood out from all the others. He was just going to drop the bag and leave, in and out. Simple. 

Digging in his coat pocket, Dib pulled out the small bag of candy hearts and bent to place it on the doorstep. Just as his fingers let go of the plastic, the door before him swung open and startled the hell out of him. He wasn’t expecting Zim to just…suddenly be there, and yet he was. 

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Dib-Filth?” 

“I-I—W-What are you doing?” Dib stammered, standing straight again and clearing his throat anxiously. 

Large cranberry colored eyes stared into honey, a tense but very swift silence filling the space between them. Squinting his eyes suspiciously, Zim snatched the bag and held it up to his face, inspecting it.

“What is this? Some sort of trap?” Zim questioned, his voice cutting with a sharp edge.

“It’s candy. I was gonna throw it away, but I decided I’d give it to you, less wasteful.” Dib shrugged, pushing his glasses up again. “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it back and give it to someone else”

Holding the bag of candies closer to him, Zim scowled angrily with antennas folded back. 

“You already gave it to Zim, so it belongs to ZIM!” Zim screeched, his face scrunched up in offense. 

“Alright, alright. Geez..!” 

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Dib rocked back and forth on the heel of his shoes. There wasn’t any real reason for him to be still standing there, and yet he was; looking all awkward and flustered doing so. 

Very obnoxiously digging into the small plastic bag, Zim pulled out a small heart and carefully popped it into his mouth. The irritation faded away in an instant as Zim’s expression drew into something bewildered. 

Dib broke the silence. “Well, look Zim. This has been great and all, but I just kinda stopped by to—”

“You’re just going to LEAVE!?” Zim yelled, pointing an accusatory finger toward Dib. 

Damn it. Dib absolutely hated talking to Zim some days because all Zim does is talk in circles and scream for no reason; and even worse, Zim could never make up his mind on things. Maybe if the little cockroach had a softer voice it wouldn’t be so bad. But that just wasn’t the case. 

“I don’t know what you want!” Dib yelled back, slapping away the gloved fingers. “I just came by to give you the candy. I don’t care—” 

“Silence! You talk too much, Dib-Human. Now, come in” 

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Isn’t it…human courtesy to thank someone?” 

Thank him? Zim never thanked anyone or cared about human courtesy! Zim walked away from the door and further into his house but Dib lagged behind for just a moment, thoughtfully considering whether or not he’d really take the chance. Well, he was already here. Fuck it. 

Following into the house, Dib stood strictly in the middle of the living room. It was so…weird, it had such a strange style to it. But in a way, Dib sort of liked it. 

“So…Now what?” Dib asked, pushing his glasses up his nose again. 

“These hearts, did they belong to some sort of animal?” Zim questioned, walking back into the living room, the bag no longer in his hands.

“What? No! I told you before, they’re candy. Sugar.” 

“Mhm…Interesting. And could you get more of them?” 

“I..guess so? They cost money, but they’re usually pretty cheap.” 

Casually, Zim pulled out a strange device that looked like a technical notepad with an impossible-to-read script on it. Mumbling under his breath, Zim put away the device and linked his fingers together, now simply looking up at Dib.

“What..?” Dib questioned, averting his gaze uncomfortably.

“Aren’t you going to…do human-bonding things?” Zim shot back with a slight pout.

The teen’s usually very pale face flushed into a dark red, his casual pose turning much more tense.

“W-What..?”

“Did Zim mumble? Isn’t that how humans thank each other, by doing close things together?” 

Just like Dib had thought earlier, this was a mistake. He didn’t know if Zim was being serious here or was just too stupid to realize what exactly his wording made it sound like. Or maybe Zim was just trying to thank him for the candy but was just over-doing it. With Zim, Dib could almost never be sure. One thing was for sure, Dib REALLY wished Zim had just commanded he go away and that be it. 

“Well!?” Zim complained impatiently. 

“Well, you’ve never expressed interest in bonding before!” Dib complained defensively. 

“Just because Zim does not say it out loud doesn’t mean it’s not there” 

Even more blood rushed to his face, his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly breathed in the words just uttered. Had Zim just…confessed? No, that would be stupid! But if he was confessing, how did Dib feel about it? Dib didn’t know how he felt! 

“Honestly, I-I’d better get going, Zim. It’s getting late” Dib stammered out, slowly backing away.

“Stop being pathetic! I’m trying to thank you!” Exclaimed a now frustrated Zim. “Your way of handling things is so…grossly weak! The second you start thinking, you start panicking, just let Zim try to give back!” 

And before Dib could very verbally complain that Zim was very much going about this in all the wrong ways, Dib found himself pressed a wall with the small pinpoints of PAK legs. 

Oh god. This was bad, this was really bad. Zim literally had against a corner and Dib felt like blood was going to start gushing out of his ears with the amount in his head. He had never felt so embarrassed in his life before! It was nice that Zim was trying to be nice, for whatever reason, but he was just doing it so…weirdly! 

“Zim, wait I—” 

And before Dib could get the phrase out, Zim’s lips were inexperiencedly smushed up against Dib’s in a slobby manner. The action had lasted only a moment before the small Irken pulled away and dry heaved, obviously disgusted. 

“Disgusting! Now, Zim has thanked you, leave.” 

“Wha—Wait, you think kissing someone is the same as thanking them?” Stuttered Dib, wiping his lips with his sleeve. 

“It’s not? The book I read told me it was, unless I misunderstood” Zim mumbled, now stepping back to gauge the situation. 

“Huh, I guess I did” Zim shrugged his shoulders, unbothered. “Now leave, you’ll start stinking up the place”

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, really rushed to finish this before Today ended, 
> 
> Sorry if there were any spelling errors/mistakes and hopefully you enjoyed this! xoxo


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